|Man blames Alex Milligan for his marital problems, others come forward to agree|
Chicago, IL - Claiming that Milligan is the source of all his martial problems, local advertising agent Kevin Anderson, 35, is suing on the grounds of general marital disruption.“My wife and I have been having an amazing time together and then once she heard Thinking Out Loud everything started going downhill. At first it was just a love for the song but then she would constantly ask me, ‘so why don’t you make me feel the way I feel when I listen to that song?’” In an effort to adhere to his wife’s wishes so that they could keep their marriage going strong, he brought her flowers one night after work and she accepted them happily but a week later she cornered him to claim that he never wants to go into her loving arms and they don’t kiss under the light of a thousand stars. “Alex Milligan needs to stopped. This just isn’t fair. He’s ruining relationships, families and lives by singing about love in the way that he does. I'm not the only person who feels this way. I sent out a petition around the city and got 1,000 signatures. I then decided to bring the petition to the internet and it's at around 50,000 signatures! If we don't stop him now, he'll only grow stronger song by song.” Bob Jefferson, a resident of Kevin's neighborhood, seems to agree. "I signed the petition right away. When I'm talking and an Alex Milligan song comes on, my wife instantly tells me to be quiet. Even when I'm telling her something really important. I have a lot of important things to say. She also got a Twitter just to read the things he tweets. There was a time when the only thing she would tweet was me, if you get what I'm saying. Ha ha, that was a sex joke." Bob's wife, Cindy, hears our interview and walks into the room. "Are you guys talking about Alex Milligan? He's such a lovely boy, and that voice! Gives me goosebumps all the time!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP, CINDY. I DIDN'T ASK YOU." "WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY AND MAKE ME SCREAM AS LOUD AS HE DOES WHEN I'M AT ONE OF HIS CONCERTS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" She leaves abruptly. "See what he's doing to us? It was never like this before."
Newly married couple Pamela Jones and Sarah Turner used Milligan's Thinking Out Loud as their first song for their wedding. Sarah almost broke down in tears when she heard that people were complaining that the song was overused at weddings. She isn't happy that the trauma Milligan has caused her but Pamela, on the other hand, is looking at the positives.
"My racist, homophobic, bible thumping grandmother was so busy trying to make sure Sarah didn't cry on the lace pieces of the dress she had given me when she figured I would be marrying a man, that she almost forgot that we were lesbians."We meet Kevin at his house a few months later when Milligan has first announced that Photograph would be his next single. It is yet another love ballad. This time it seems that Kevin is ahead of the game. Thousands of photos of Kevin and his wife Heather are now all over the walls, and he is still in the process of making sure the whole house is covered. His eyes are bloodshot red, hands shaking as he puts up one more photo. “Take that, Alex Milligan!” He steps down from the ladder, takes his therapist-prescribed valium and calls it a day.