History

Re: MOTHERFUCKING MODEL X

Sep 26

G. Alvarez

to C. Stepp

Carson. CARSON. This fucking dream car. Bioweapon defense mode button. Oh my god.

The only thing I'm upset about is that we weren't part of the first six delivered on stage. So mean.

On Wed, Sep 30, 2014 at 8:03 AM, C. Stepp wrote:

OUR CARS ARE FINALLY GONNA BE ON THE WAY. YOU READY FOR THIS SHIT?

WATCH VIDEO. BOW DOWN TO SECRET EVIL GENIUS ELON MUSK. REPORT BACK.

http://www.teslamotors.com/modelx

Lunch on Saturday?

Sep 29

G. Alvarez

to Gaby Dunn

Hey! Any chance you're free to grab lunch this Saturday? I'd love to pick your brain about some things.

I know this is horribly late notice and I'll be back in LA around the 12th, if that works better?

Let me know what works for you!

- Gia

Re: (no subject)

Sep 26

G. Alvarez

to Stefan Abingdon

You're the best. I attached a thank you. 😉 😚

On Fri, Sep 25, 2014 at 1:37 PM, Stefan Abingdon wrote:

It's going up this Monday. We did it on the way to Bath and cut it with footage from the whole trip.

It Happened To Me (article excerpt)

It's their first...something that they've had in a while. It's not a fight. They've had fights, but it hasn't really happened in the past few weeks so he has a moment where he gets nervous when he knows that something has upset her but he's not exactly sure what it is. Soon after she dismisses him in favor of a stern send off. In the past, this likely would have gone worse. A lot worse. He'd have pushed her to say something, she would avoid it and they’d battle for a few hours until she finally caved and let him in on what was actually wrong. They skip a few steps this time, he falls asleep soon after she announces it’s a night for her, and in the morning they reluctantly reconvene when he pushes the subject. Of course he does. He can’t just turn it off after one reply to each other. He knows there’s more, always more, and being the curious mind that he is, he always wants to know what that more means.

Before, he might have started looking at all the things he had done and said and wondered where he went wrong. Retraced his verbal steps to pinpoint exactly where the breakage was before she started getting distant. What it was that sparked up the fear in her, what caused her to get upset. What he did. She’s a woman who goes through her emotions like they’re lightning bolts. She never knows when they’re going to strike, never knows how hard they’ll hit. But when they hit, they hit.

“you have this kind of mentality where you need to fix things or me sometimes but it can't always be like that.”

“this entire conversation is humiliating me, why won't you let it go.”

“You can’t just fix me.”
“Dais, I’m not trying to fix you - I just want to lo…”
She spins around, marching right up to him as she places a finger to his lips. “Don’t say it, Alex. Do. Not. Say. It.”
“Say what? That I lov…”
“Jesus, Alex! Will you stop? Just stop, okay. All of this. This isn’t me. I can’t be the girl you want me to be. I’m not just going to adhere to the things you want, how you want them, when you want them just because it would be easier. Just so that I can be nicer. I am who I am, okay? I’m a fucked up person. I don’t want to be tied to my phone, I’m going to be out at the pubs and I’m going to flirt, my hours are unreliable, I don’t want anyone acting like they own me. This is what you’d get. I’m no good. This is what I do. Give me something solid and I’ll hand it back shattered. Every single time.”
“I don’t want you in any way other than the way you are right now. All I asked is if you’d just talk to me. That’s all.”
“You pushed it.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Dais, come on. Let’s just go back inside.”
“I don’t do all this happiness fairytale shit, Alex. Why won’t you let it go? You’re not my hero in this story you’ve created for us. So stop trying to be.”

He wants to understand everything about Ione. More, always more. He wants to open up her mind, take a dive, and be able to feel all that she feels so that he can just get it. Really, truly, completely get it. He wants her to be able to tell him that she is hurt, angry, or disappointed without pushing himself into it immediately. I am hurt turns into you hurt me. I am angry turns into you’ve angered me. I am disappointed turns into you’ve disappointed me. Sometimes it’s not about him at all, he knows that, but when he can feel the tension start to rise he can’t help but want to smooth everything over. He can’t help but try and talk it all out. He can’t help but reassure her. He can’t help but jump up to try and fix it. Even if she doesn’t want any of those things. Even if she tells him to stop. If he feels like something is wrong, he wants reaffirmation that it’ll all be okay and it’s momentary.

He’s kind of selfish in that way.

Not overtly, but it's there. He's starting to realize it the more he looks within. He doesn’t place demands on all that she is as a person but she's shifted parts of herself to make things fit. She'll say she's so glad they're both talking to each other and that she can confide in him but will she end up feeling so unlike herself that it becomes too much? She's already put so much blame on herself and he's worried she'll keep having moments where she wonders what it's all been for. He's changed, too, or at least he's trying to and they agree that changes can be for the better but he wonders if she'll start resenting him. If he's overstepped boundaries. If she feels like he's trying to put everything into neat little boxes and keep them that way. They could never be confined.

He makes sure she knows that she is loved and cared for but unconsciously he would like things a certain way. When she has moments of doubt, he wants her to stop all that she is doing and talk to him about it right away so they can discuss everything together. As though she is always in control of her emotions. He knows that’s not how it works. He knows, and she constantly tells him, she’s a woman of extremes who can get from neutral ground to level 10 in a matter of minutes. One thing, no matter how seemingly insignificant, can manage to cause a chain reaction in her mind and disrupt all positive thoughts. He knows this, but when push comes to shove it's hard to just keep that in mind at the forefront and take things in without getting too invested with it. He's in it, he's dedicated, his entire heart is out there so everything is multiplied.

Still, he is always pushing and pushing and pushing for her to just talk to him. As though that wouldn’t be something she’d fucking do if she could help it at all times. But sometimes she just can’t. Sometimes, it is so much more than he could ever even begin to realize. Her irrationality is merely born out of insecurities. He'd like to shield her from it all but there's no magic marker to erase the parts of her past that sting. You'd think he'd realize it by now. It doesn't have to be some reflection of him. It's not about him. She'll have her moments. It happens. Something he keeps reminding himself over and over and over again.

He's the calm and collected one, they say. Mostly on the outside. Time to start changing up those insides.

Tied Up In Pretty Young Things, in a state of emergency.
The first time Gia tries to put the harness on, she gets the straps all wrong and ends up falling back on the bed. Slade rectifies the situation by using his teeth and fingers to get everything unraveled. It's no surprise they end up distracted, the original reason she came over left lying on the floor, as they fall into what they never tire of.

A few nights later, she practices putting it on while he showers. It takes a few tries but she gets it figured out. The new appendage throws off her balance a little though and she giggles as she has to hold onto the back of a chair to steady herself for a moment. She's still laughing to herself when Slade comes out of the shower and as soon as he sees her, he starts laughing too. Which only goes to set her off again, which sets him off again and eventually she's doubled over, holding her stomach, while he has to turn his back to compose himself.

"You don't want to be laughing at me right now," she said, still giggling. "I'm about to be in the power position."

"Okay, look. Look. No, listen. Stop laughing, this is super serious! You know, look, okay. I know I've had a lot to drink but, like, I need you to know that what I'm gonna say, I say with the utmost love and respect... I don't know if I could peg you... but I'd stick a finger in your ass if you were into it, you know? So you are fucking welcome!"